Leaving Things You Love

(Ruth) I’ve packed up a hiking bag and left London on several occasions. Looking back it was largely because I was trying to escape something: a stressful job, a failed relationship or a cramped housing situation that I could barely afford. So this adventure feels different because actually, I was pretty happy with my lot.

I’d got through the early stages of working in TV production, no longer getting people’s tea but producing my own work. I’d helped build a start-up with an amazing team and was Head of Production in a rapidly growing media company.

My home life was unconventional but I loved it. I lived in a warehouse in Seven Sisters with seven housemates. Not only was it full of kind, creative and talented people but there was space, lots of space and in London that feels like the biggest luxury.

And as for my relationship, Oli and I have been together 18 months now, shared a home and still like each other enough to want to go round the world together. (Fingers crossed we feel the same the other side.)

Because the desire to leave isn’t pure escapism, I think it seems harder. When it came to telling my boss I was leaving, I was full of mixed emotions. After hundreds of hours working side by side he had come to be, and remains, a very good friend. As I babbled my way through my reasons for leaving, they didn’t quite seem to hold up in the face of future opportunities, a rising salary, and general stability. Jumping ship started to feel a bit reckless.

But amidst the growing doubt, there has always been a quiet voice inside of me that knows this is what I want to do. I want to take the opportunity for an adventure whilst I have very few ties. No kids, no mortgage, no houseplants to water… all of the things that could be on the horizon in the not too distant future.

I don’t know which parts of my life will be the same when we return. But I’m ok with that, more than ok... I’m excited.